Darren Who?

I'm so engrossed in golf today that I barely see any of the first day's play in the second test match at Headingly between England and South Africa. What I can tell you is that England are bowled out for a paltry 203, Michael Vaughan contributing another fine duck and Kevin Pietersen top-scoring with 45. On his return to the line-up Andrew Flintoff adds only 17, while the ludicrously promoted Tim Ambrose makes just 12,

In response South Africa are 101-3, having lost captain Graeme Smith for 44, his opening partner Neil McKenzine for 15 and Jacques Kallis for a Vaughan-esque 4. Hashim Amla and Ashwell Prince see the Proteas through to stumps, trailing by only 102 with seven wickets in hand.

All that is overshadowed however by England's decision to hand a debut to Nottinghamshire seamer Darren Pattinson. The press scream that it makes a mockery of the England selectors' previous policy given that centrally contracted players have always enjoyed first dibs when a berth in the side becomes available. Ryan Sidebottom is unavailable through injury, but instead of returning to one of Stephen Harmison, Matthew Hoggard or Simon Jones to fill the void England instead plump for a man who has played just six first class matches for the Trent Bridge club. And guess what? He was brought up in Australia. Hmm.

Back to the golf, and it is Greg Norman making all the headlines. The Australian doesn't play too much these days, but while his overpaid rivals are toiling away in the wind and rain Norman climbs out of bed to shoot a magnficent 70 to lie just one stroke off the lead. The man in front is Korea's KJ Choi, whose 67 makes him the only man under-par for the tournament after two days. It's not the best round however, with mulleted Columbian Camilo Villegas putting in a 65 to lie third. Tom Watson, Miguel Angel Jiminez, Geoff Ogilvy, Vijay Singh and Angel Cabrera are among those who miss the cut.

Saints roll all over Wigan at the JJB Stadium despite never getting out of second gear. The Super Mighty Ones win 46-12, with Wigan fans no doubt pointing to the fifth minute dismissal of Mike McIlorum for a high tackle on Ade Gardner as mitigation for their capitulation. My heart is not bleeding for them all that much. Saints now have a two-point lead over Leeds Rhinos at the top of Super League ahead of Brian McClennan's side's visit to Perpignan tomorrow evening.

Lastly to athletics where thankfully Dwain Chambers' drug-taking exploits have failed to offer dividends. The pretend Castleford Tigers player fails to overturn his lifetime ban from the Olympics following his transgressions of 2003, and the event will be all the more successful and worthy for his absence. There was a risible article in the Times suggesting that he should be allowed to compete in exchange for his inside knowledge on the habits of drugs cheats, which is rather like turning Ian Brady loose in the hope that he might help you eradicate child murders.