Thursday 3 July 2008

Further Freddie Frolics; Turd Party Ownership; Bad Barry The Villain

No sooner has he got all of Britain into a lather at the prospect of a Grand Slam victory, than Andrew Murray has put us all back into our misery. The grumpy Scot was thrashed in straight sets by Rafa Nadal and scarcely looked like winning a point in most games, let alone make a significant impact on the match. To be fair Nadal looked fairly unplayable. Even that arrogant schyster Federer will have his hands full against the Spaniard on this evidence. Vamos Rafa. Or something. Elsewhere Federer walloped Mario Ancic (maybe now we can all stop talking about the fact that Ancic was the last man to beat the Swiss on grass), while Marat Safin huffed and puffed his way to victory over Feliciano Lopez. The remaining match between Arnaud Clement and Rainer Schuettler was level at one set apiece when the southern softies decided it was too dark to play any more. Ever heard of floodlights? Even cricket grounds have them now. Get with it you pompous prats.

This blog has spent much of its time (did you see how I discharged my responsibilities there?) having a pop at Andrew Flintoff. Well today the big daft lad with the mega-thick medical records went out and shoved my words down my throat.

The final day of Sussex v Lancashire at Hove looked like being a rain-ruined affair, but when the weather changed Freddie came out and blasted a quickfire 62 to secure an eight-wicket victory for his side. Yet I smell the foul stench of media interference. Throughout the match the Sky commentators had been urging England coach Peter Moores to ring up Lancashire boss Mike Watkinson to tell him to let Freddie bat at 4. He'd batted at 8 in the first innings and had scored only six before gently prodding to mid-on. Yet second time around here he was striding out at 4, having decided that the only way to get out of his current batting rut was to blast just about everything that was thrown down at him. There were some hairy moments, but the England all-rounder survived to put on the winning partnership with the rather less heralded Paul Horton.

Manchester City signed a football player from Brazil today. Alas, it was not Ronaldinho, but Jo. Who? Dunno really, but apparently he is worth £18million. There had been a snag in the deal when it emerged that Jo was owned by a third party in a Carlos Tevez/Javier Mascherano kind of way. Seeing him today with his Manchester City scarf held up above his head I couldn't help thinking that he was a little bit scrawny. I actually typed thining instead of thinking there for a second. Just did it again. Freudian slip? Anyway third party ownership is A Bad Thing. If players must be transferred for fees that would instantly stop third world hunger, please can we have it done without the interference of sharp-suited buffoons with no interest in sport or anything resembling it?

What else today? Well, Roberto Di Matteo was appointed manager of the club formally known as Franchise FC and before that Wimbledon. MK Dons saw fit to replace Paul Ince with another former midfield general, but in this case he has no real experience to speak of. I wonder what he will make of lower league football. It's got to be better than sharing a dressing room with Gus Poyet, if you want to look at it more positively. Which I don't. I hate MK Dons and the whole idea that a team can just be uprooted from one location to another makes the contents of my stomach rush upwards. It's milk-curdlingly offensive. In the NBA the Seattle Supersonics are about to become the Oklahoma City Something Or Others. The city of Seattle has retained the rights to the name if not the team. All of which is rather like getting divorced, and being given custody of the television but not the channels within it. Yes I know that is impossible, but it is not that long ago that you would have said the same about moving a team from south London to Buckinghamshire. But they have.

Aston Villa have told Gareth Barry not to bother coming back either. The over-rated crab has demanded to be allowed to join Liverpool and gave a Sunday tabloid a piece of what passes for his mind on the subject. Question; Why do Liverpool want to pay £18million for Barry when they have a more sophisticated, better behaved version in Xabi Alonso? If I were Barry I would have kept my Gob shut. Pretty soon Villa's valuation is going to force Liverpool to pull out of the deal and then Barry will be stuck at Villa, either rotting in the reserves or trying to play for the first team despite the fact that his relationship with the fans, the manager and his team-mates has completely broken down. If they do part ways I hope Randy Lerner gives him the telly without the channels.

Tomorrow, ladies semi-final walkovers at Wimbledon, England test and ICC trophy squad selection, and all the usual whatever comes to mind bullshit. What do you care? You're not reading this anyway.

Stephen Orford

3 July 2008

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I read it, I will admit I skimmed the cricket and I believe there may have been some football in there but... erm... Yes I totally agree about the flood lights thing, will they add them when they put the roof on du think?