More Colly Wobbles

After a week's break (you really can't keep writing about summer sport every day, it'll get you in the end) my readerless blog is back.



Co-incidentally (or not) it returns on the day that England begin the third test match against South Africa at Edgbaston. Trailing 1-0 in the series after a desperate defeat at Headingley, England are soon in the deep brown stuff again. Winning the toss and batting first was very much the thing to do according to all of the experts (and Nasser Hussain), so when England captain Michael Vaughan did just that I felt quite confident.



For the first 20 overs or so my confidence was well founded, with Andrew Strauss and Alistair Cook putting on a first wicket stand of 68. It was not until Strauss inexplicably trod on his stumps that England's comedy of errors began. Vaughan came and went first ball, trudging off in disbelief after being given out caught behind off Andre Nel. Snicko suggested that there had been an edge, even if it was not visible at full speed. Either way, it is another big fat duck for a player fast running out of time and excuses for his poor form. If we had another obvious candidate for the captaincy the clamour for his removal would be even stronger than it already is. If I was Michael Vaughan I wouldn't be reading the tabloids over breakfast tomorrow morning.



Following Vaughan back to the pavillion was Kevin Pietersen. The South African-born batsmen had scored just four when he missed a straight one from Jacques Kallis, and should probably have been given out lbw. Instead umpire Steve Davis decided that Pietersen had nicked the ball, which ballooned up off his pad and into the arms of Ashwell Prince. Next to go was Cook, caught at slip by Kallis off the bowling of Nel in a manner that he had been threatening all the way through his 76.



All of which led to the entrance of Paul Collingwood alongside Ian Bell. Collingwood has all the confidence of a zebra drinking in a stream full of crocodiles, and it surprised nobody when he edged Kallis to Graeme Smith having made just four. If he does no better in the second innings (should England get that far) then surely it is time for him to go back to Durham for the rest of the season. He needs a sustained period in county cricket to enable him to find his form. It is simply not going to happen in the test arena.



Bell reached a well-made 50 before he was caught behind by Mark Boucher. It was Makaya Nitini's first wicket of the match, and left England reeling on 173-6. Tim Ambrose came in to join Andrew Flintoff, and showed exactly why he is not a test match number six. After toiling to a scratchy 22 he chopped wildly on to his stumps to give Kallis his third wicket and South Africa's seventh with the score on 212. Ryan Sidebottom came and went, caught by Boucher for just 2 to become Ntini's second scalp at 215-8. James Anderson and Monty Panesar were ludicrously run out by Flintoff for 1 each off consecutive balls, leaving the Lancastrian not out on 36 but England all out for 231.



Perhaps the brightest spot of England's dismal day came when Flintoff had Smith caught at slip by Strauss for only 7 to leave the Proteas on 17-1. Twenty-one more runs were added without further damage in the remaining overs, so Neil McKenzie and night watchman Paul Harris will resume in the morning on 12 and 10 respectively and South Africa in full control on 38-1.