Day two of my new life as a pointless blogger, and still nobody is interested. You could look at that two ways. You could be really upset and give it all away. You know? Take your ball home and not come out playing again until the bigger boys promise to stop picking on you. Or you could see it as a golden opportunity to say absolutely anything, no matter how scandalous, and get away with it. So here goes;
Women's tennis is a waste of time.
While the quarter-finals of the women's singles at Wimbledon were under way I was blissfully unaware of what was going on. Instead I preferred to watch Lancashire plod their way to a winning position in their LV County Championship match against Sussex at Hove. The misadventures of Andrew 'Freddie' Flintoff continue. The England man couldn't buy a wicket, having Sussex skipper Chris Adams dropped at slip by Steven Croft. Undeterred, pantomime Dame Bob Willis insisted that Flintoff is ready to take his place in the England side for next week's first test against South Africa. Aye, and I'm ready to pilot flight AF966624 from Manchester to Mogadishu. Back to the game itself, and Sussex's main hope of avoiding defeat lies with the batting of Murray Goodwin. So, yesterday we had a good win for Murray, and today we have Murray Goodwin.
There was rugby this evening. Of the league variety of course. I'd rather be locked in a room with Fern Britton than watch rugby union. Instead it's Wakefield Trinity Wildcats against the grossly and distastefully manufactured Catalans Dragons at Belle Vue (or whatever ludicrous sponsors name their cess pit of a ground carries these days). After a tight first half the French/Australian side run out 30-14 winners to stay within three points of Super League leaders Leeds Rhinos and one of second placed Super Mighty St Helens. Biased? Me? You what?
Actually, I missed the second half of the rugby in any case. My girlfriend wanted to watch some God awful crime drama on Living or Channel Five or something. I decided I didn't mind. It's not like there was much quality on display in West Yorkshire anyway. If Catalans are the third best side in Super League then it is a sad state of affairs. What's happened to Wigan? Who gives a fuck?
The latest football transfer speculation has Robbie Keane joining Liverpool in exchange for Peter Crouch and some cash. I'll have a bit of that. Peter Crouch does a passable impression of a new born lamb on stilts, while I have always thought that Keane one of the Dullsville Premier League's more exciting assets. He could work well with El Nino. That is if he doesn't get himself sent off with his big fat mouth. Have you ever seen any player give referees so much abuse and get away with it? Even Wayne 'fucking ell you're joking, la' Rooney is jealous.
Over in Manchester Fergie says he will only sign one player this summer. Jesus Christ is expected to put pen to paper next week sometime. Asked about the future of Cristiano Ronaldo Fergie wouldn't be drawn. In fact he got quite uppity in that way he has. You know the one? The one which is supposed to scare journalists but is actually about as frightening as an Andrex puppy. All of which is a tell-tale sign that Sralex is not in control of the Ronaldo situation and doesn't much like the fact. I'm not a United fan but most of those I have spoken to that are want Ronaldo out of it and fast. He's fast becoming a distraction they don't need.
Tomorrow, news on Andy Murray's bid to reach the semi-finals at Wimbledon, the conclusion of Freddie Flintoff's nightmares, and maybe some more unfounded rumours from that summer institution the transfer rumour mill. It's bound to be bad news if you are a Spurs fans, but then that is your fault for supporting such an underachieving bunch of nearly men, isn't it?
Stephen Orford
July 2 2008
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